thoughts:deaths

deaths. its never a good thing from the start and for me when i know somebody's love ones has passed away is that it never made me feel easy. well of course i feel sad for my friends. being separated from your love ones is truly a great lost. and really this is the thing that kinda bugs me. i can't take deaths easily. the hardest part of it is that, i'm always speechless when someone told me that someone has passed away. especially being in front of that person, i don't know whether i should say sorry or not coz it would not make anything better.so really i'm always stuck there.

i'm not much of a guy who likes to shed some tears over something. even in funerals. yes i know its sad but sometimes especially being a guy around so many aunties and female couzins, it kinda makes you seem like a jackass of not crying. when i lost my grandma early last year, i didin't liek cry that much, its more like some tears in my eyes. and one of my aunties said i diidn't cry. oh thanks. being a jackass is always what i wanted to do. its not that i don't love my grandma, its just that sometiems , being a guy, especially at this age, you just don't burst into tears.

there's a couple of lost out there that some of my friends had and at times i kinda feel bad of not saying anything to them as i really can't handle this kinda situation. i guess its more of a listening situation for me, but i don't know at times you gotta give some reply. i don't know. what do you guys will say?